Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ernie Els (Mistakenly) Calls Tiger Selfish


The timing of Tiger Woods' first appearance since his car accident and subsequent admission of marital infidelity -- on Friday in Florida, while the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship is in full swing in Arizona -- does not impress one of the game's best-known players.

"It's selfish," former U.S. Open and British Open champion Ernie Els told Golfweek magazine. "You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament."


Listen, Ernie. You shouldn’t be calling Tiger Woods selfish (unless you’re referring to his desire to bang every skank, porn star, and cocktail waitress under the sun, despite already being married to a beautiful blonde bombshell. That is selfish). However, his holding a press conference during a PGA tournament is not. Tiger Woods is golf. He is the only reason why people watch, the only reason why people care.

People are not tuning in to watch you, Ernie Els. If it wasn’t for Tiger, no one would even know who you are. Do you realize, Ernie, that you complaining about Tiger taking attention away from yourself is like Hank Baskett whining about how Kendra is stealing his thunder? I mean, do you think anyone would know who Hank Baskett was if wasn’t for Kendra? Because of her, even my girlfriend knows who Hank Baskett is for Christ’s sake. Kendra made Hank a household name, and Tiger is doing the same for you. You should thank him, not criticize him.

Tiger has not taken the spotlight off of the Match Play Championship. He has put the spotlight on it. Did you really think people were going to tune in and watch otherwise? Absolutely not. Maybe now, you’ll have a few more fans watching. I call this decision by Tiger selfless, not selfish.

[Ps: For those of you who can’t wait to tune into Tiger’s press conference tomorrow, I’ll give you the rundown of what’s going to be said. He’s going to apologize to his family, fans, sponsors, and the PGA for his “transgressions.” He’ll probably use the word infidelity a few times. He’s going to say that he’s getting help and trying to fix his life. He will make it clear that it is a private matter between him and his family, and he will politely ask everyone to stay out of his business (but we won’t listen). Then he will say that he is returning to the game of golf, probably for a tournament or two right before the Masters. He will finish up by not taking questions. If Tiger says anything unexpected or fundamentally different from what I just outlined above, I will comment on it tomorrow. However, I am not expecting to have to do that.]

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